I know feeling great is my number one outcome, it’s all that matters. I shall I say, feeling relief. Constant relief. So that comes down to? Well, I was about to list a bunch of jobs which is pretty funny. exactly the opposite of what I really need. I don’t need to get busy or accomplish a bunch of random outcomes, however i imagine they’ll effect my mood. My mood is effected by what I decide to feel and focus on right now. how much fun I’m going to have building models. how much I am getting into this really powerful paradigm and how much I appreciate the elegance of it. Watching that humanist video on facebook was a confirmation. This is a science in that the results are reproducible, and deliciously, it’s accessible through belief. our emotions aren’t mere artifacts and accidents of the evolutionary process, they are exactly what is needed to interact and direct the energy of the universe. we have power beyond power, for we make power, we imagine power where before there was void and then step into the power. We do it through the joy of living. The excitement of engagement. The celebration of existence.

I don’t have to do ANYTHING. No practices, no rituals, no disciplines, no deprivation – in other words I don’t have to do anything that sucks. In fact I definitely shouldn’t do anything that sucks.

If I were getting any benefit from struggle before, it was because on some level I loved the struggle, there was some relief in it, or because afterwards I allowed myself to utterly indulge and feel self love. even if I felt some degree of relief – that I was a disciplined person, that I allowed myself to view myself as strong and fit. Perhaps or even revenge, I’m doing this and this person’s going to wish they were still my friend… I am definitely on the other side of this now, I am really getting this. I know why action worked in the past and why it worked. Now I know how to take effective action every time. I know how to cease ineffective action and to notice right away. I know how to take effective action. More important than action, I know how to be right here and now, I know I always want to be reaching for relief, a better feeling. I am taking care of myself, I am caring about my emotions. This is a great blooming in process. I am going to flower so empowered, so beautiful, so strong and adept, so alive and happy, so much affection and sex. [snip] I can’t make her tune in, I can only love her and tune myself into myself. Oh, I am feeling so excited. I am so ready to live fully.

All that I want to have be and do, I imagine easily and deliciously coming true.

I am getting better, easier with this idea. i can have be and do everything I want, I’ve wanted. and more, i am the edge, I am the builder, the architect, the sustainer.

Here’s the moment, I decide to create. Let’s say, the house is clean(er). Why do I want a cleaner house? Because I love the way it feels when I come in, when I walk around and just experience. just feeling wonderful about how the house is clean and how much fun I am going to have getting it there, causes elves to jump out of the woodwork and start cleaning it while I am in here tippy tapping. Eventually, yes. Why not? Helping hands are every where extant, now that I can allow them. I want an EPIC life, I want the best experiences unfolding for me. I want to live in my full power, I want to set the magic loose on my behalf. I want love to come full blown into my life and the best people ever to show up. For fun and play.

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