January 14

I understood slightly why meditation might be useful, then I spent time with Ru and the voices in my head went silent for the most part. I could still the mind and just be empty. That was the beginning. Now as I deliberately practice, I realize that it is the development of a capacity for quiet, for presence. The random chatter not only of throughts but what is most eggregious for me is the chatter of emotions, suddenly feeling rotten about things that happened ages ago, or yesterday. That is not real, certainly not relevant, not useful, not nice. Meditation is the practice of just being, th body processes are the candle for me, the lungs which wash my flesh with waves of air, the heart booming throughout my body, I can feel the pipes surging with blood and great regions responding. I’ve thought how cool it would be to feel my entire body pulsing with the blood of my heart, my whole body breathing (as Ru suggests), to feel the big processes extending even beyond my body, for the interface between me and everything else is fuzzy, where I end and the universe begins isn’t hard at all. The whole universe breathes with me. These aren’t theories or abstractions, these are experiences to be had.

So when I am just feeling myself, according to Abraham I am raising my vibration and allowing divine to shine through, I am allowing an experience of who I am fully. The pragmatic reason to meditate and is to get empty so I can experience the fullness.

What I love about Abraham and why it makes sense to me is the materialistic twist on spirituality it offers. We are here in a physical world, with beautiful sexy bodies. We are pleasure seeky. So how does that fit into the skewed concepts of the divine I was offered as a kid? 1) Deny your nature and you’ll be rewarded in the afterlife. That’s the same as, go get a degree in Petroleum Geology and you can retire when you’re 30. That was my dad’s plan, which I followed for all of 10 seconds. Why would everything be set up to be so opposite? 2) Then Swamiji which was basically, live as long as you can so you’ll have time to figure out what it’s all about. That seemed like really good advice, plus he could do seriously virtousic things with his body. Spirituality was get back into your body, or even get into your body for the first time. Worship and exalt the physicality, which made much more sense, because the physical MUST be wired into the divine. Why wouldn’t the body be the instrument of discovering myself? I didn’t have more than that, except that the practice of yoga, being strong and fit felt good, and made me sort of superhuman. That was certainly proof that I was doing something right.

3) Then the taoist prespective, which was more transactional. In pushy hands, there’s an interaction, flow between myself and other, with the forms there’s interaction between myself and universe. I am flow. Slow, relaxed, empty. Feel. Also the zany Alan Watts throwing it down.

4) got to add in Marshall, because it’s about feeling my feelings, and knowing what to do with them. How to embrace who I am, how to share. How to let go. What is empathy? Wasn’t even aware that there was such a thing, my idea of how to help and heal missed the fundamental connection. I didn’t fully get all of Marshall and am still learning. Presaging Abraham and preparing for reception.

5) Now Abraham where all this comes together, the pieces fitting. Desires are desirable, manifesting is human nature and wonderful. Our desires are the expression of our divinity, we can believe in them fully, trust them, get charged up by them and the universe is designed to have them show up. The divine is completely at one with the physical, it’s all integrated. Of course we want and so align and have. Notice what could be better and expand the universe with new desire. Yes we are god, we are the leading edge of god in the expansion of the cosmos. How about them apples?

So back to presence. I get that getting present is a direct experience of divinity. Getting quiet deliberately allows the big signal from my mighty tower to come through clear and strong. That’s the basis, then my little adventure riffs of the big signal, I am as much god as I decide to be. How much of my life am I going to allow?

This makes me feel good to write about because it’s really quite simple. I am basically saying – all that I’ve ever aspired to is just waiting to happen. My wildest imaginings are only a beginning, a jumping off place. All that’s required is soaring imagination, constant self encouragement and decisively feeling fabulous. Imagination is more important than what is.

(thanks for the eagle carver)

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