I write these things and feel and irrational shame. Who will read this after me? Perhaps my career in the senate will be improved by the frank nature of these reports. Honesty, can I at least be honest with myself? Kim puts a high value on honesty, as do I, but when I look deep there are shadows, things the dominant culture might ask us to feel shame for. Like not having a lawn, or wanting to sleep with young women, or caring about the wilds. How shall we conform, oh lord? Whose book shall we follow? Of course the answer is, our own – the one we write right now. Posterity, what you read now is a bible, torah and koran, vedas and iching. Your books might be written by sages you’ve never met, influenced by all manner of whack jobs and of course God. I too am both whack job and God, so this here is a holy book. Let he who is not God cast the first stone.

Anyway, back in the wilds of Northern Michigan. I can finish greenhousing in the rain today, won’t that be wonderful? ← sincerity. Well, almost finish.

I’d make love to you and shower you with warm rain my little slightly overweight and unsteady friend. The trick in life is to embrace the beauty when it shows up and to ward off the vampires. Am I a vampire? Certainly not unless vampires give far more than they get. They can give a kind of immortality, but the mehums think that’s a curse. I would say that certain flavors of immortality would be a curse, maybe where you can’t choose to end it. The very definition of God. So he/she/it has to invent these elaborate ruses to stay sane – reincarnation, limits to power, drama, conflict, struggle, fleeting tastes of glory and ecstasy. What or who bit God? The analogy is flawed of course, for God does not need to feed, and vampires must feed or else they loose their stylish ennui – which must be maintained at all costs. That also reminds me of dominant culture celebrities. They must feed on public attention or else slip back into something slavering and rapacious, a thing. Which brings me to a little screenplay about eating…

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