Man is brought to special spontaneous Hunan combustion research center.

Well mr haringgame, once again you’ve been briefed on the work we do here at the spontaneous human combustion research center, yes? And your willing to proceed with todays experiment? Very good. the nature of today’s experiment is to discover whether there’s a connection between intense pleasure and spontaneous human combustion or shc, “shick”. we have your answers to the pleasure questionairre here. Were going to use the results to offer you increasing levels of intense pleasure and see if we can achieve a non lethal shc event. Are u ready? Ok, let’s begin. Ms garland, please remove the sensory isolation devices.

Mr haringame, you mention your very fond of sunsets and long walks on the beach. Walking would not be compatible with the controlled conditions of this experiment, but how do you like the beach and sunset?

“Nice”. Takes a deep breath.

Ms garland, please offer mr haringame the first stimulus. This is the one novel from your favorite science fiction author you haven’t read…

“Oooo.” He opens the book and begins to read.

That’s a healthy response, metabolic rate has increased 12%

Ms garland, please offer him the next stimulus. Your questionnaire response indicates that you enjoy receiving oral sex from attractive young women. How’s that feel mr haringame?

Woman scientist unbuttons blouse and kneels down off camera

“Very enjoyable, very enjoyable indeed.” continues to read, breathing heavy…

7% increase in metabolic curve, we have a heat spike!

Alright Brady standby with that fire extinguisher. Mr haringgame, you mention a great appreciation for raw organic pistachios, naturally opened. Let me just deshell this for you and pop it into your mouth… (chewing) how’s that taste mr haringame? Yummy?


Heat spike off the charts! (blazing light) for god sake ms garland, get back! Brady, where’s that extinguisher? Ahhhgk! (roar of fire, like a blast furnace) smoke.x

Dr Brazenov, you’ve achieved shc event

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