core / life master / 2008 / april / 4/29 (04-29-08)
progress, plan, ADR, objectives, motivation, distraction, impending disaster
wel, i am tired. it’s been a pretty productive day. got rid of dana’s files, revealed my plans to laura and so on. jeez, my body feels pretty good on this fast, but my window is limited. i would accept recording and placing all ADR and sound editing as the limit before breaking this fast. as an acceptable goal. i would just fast and fast if it weren’t for the damn microtubeles breking down. mythology of teeth, who can say what’s really happening. i want to experience robust strong mouth. everything feels super clean in there now. what i did experience today. more time with laura that was fun, then very unpleasant time finishing with a close time. connection to jon briefly. decent run with some moments of euphoria. really early wake up time and some adr accomplished. got to get laura off my back. got to settle this. i’ve just got to hold the line for my own vision. i’m not a tool. why did those guys offer to help joanne? can they say no? do they resent it when others can? love those guys, but don’t mix up my issues with theirs. if laura wants to project on me, the only thing i can do is listen and stand firm. what do i want o experience? standing up for my own vision. i know how to give, the friends who question my motivation are the friends who are questionable. i have tolerance for a little bit of bad behavior because there is so much good behavior most of the time. let’s just roll with it. perhaps when the time comes, multiclip editing wil save the day. the other option is just to have a edit decision list that i can execute for her. i want this to work between us, but not at the expense of my own objectives. i am the only one who consider my objectives. period.