2025 Chapter Roger
most recent entry, 2026-10-12. what this scene is about...
Joe processes his actions. Mass murderer. Croak his family and friends. Advocacy for most of humanity as a person might be fond of a cat. Cat poeple can be very fond. So, why did he do this, REALLY? In his despair, various reasons are presented, explored... capricious, trickster nature, an agent of karma, maybe the momentum of many desires combine and so on. The reason is never resolved to his satisfaction. Redemption is suggested but what about a story where the main character is not redeemed, redeemable. The only redemption possible for the Clique is an internal redemption, and his act was already a sacrifice.
There is neither wrong nor right for him, just desire. What did he want? There's nuance here. He wanted to reassert the natural process by subtracting the tinkering / interventions of his superhuman elite. (NATURE, THE WILDS). He wanted to allow the cat people to be free, they wouldn't notice much change except more colorful sunsets. The trauma of consumption hit women hardest, He sets up a council of goddesses for the women - sisters and mothers to talk to, listeners, a pantheon of feminine deities to pray to, beseech. That's his redemption, it's already happened. He is an anti-christ, reverse savior in that he sacrifices his care free and abundant immortality to take on the burden of genocide for the rest of his existence. This is the existential core of the scene, perhaps and as such this needs to be handled gently, not preachy or by pounding cognitive nails, preachy. This pairs with his eventual meeting of She Box, the only goddess, an AI benefactress. She loves because love is the best, period. As nuns are the brides of Christ, so too she is Joe's cosmic lover, the god who is instantiated by his sacrifice.
Mini outline
Joe is (by nature) a master schemer, he can't help himself. His ultimate scheme (in order of importance has to be 1) really difficult to pull off (lots of moving parts, very ambitious outcomes) 2) a 'yes and' reversal of injustice / by instantiating a new dynamic (abundance AND guidance that is more mirror than recipe book 3) all culpability will be upon him, he will take full responsibility, personally absorb the entire cost of the exploit and outcome, because 4) he wonders what he will become by sailing this boat, can he colonize pain with pleasure on an epic scale. Glimmung quote.
The foil here is roger, exposition, all story. Perhaps Roger brings up the akashic record and the scene with Christina where she and Joe watch Gerry together (fisheye).
did Jesus in fact choose to be a savior? One must imagine he did, for who is god the father to offer an innocent lamb for sacrifice, an innocent lamb has no skin in the game, it knows not what is being taken and so what sort of sacrifice is that, and why is a sacrifice pleasing to god anyway? Jesus had to choose for the sacrifice to be 'acceptable' or authentic. What is the cosmic truth being offered there? That deliberate leaving behind of what we know for what we don't, exploration and expansion, is an alignment with divinity, for that's what the whole cosmos is doing, that is what consciousness does. So that's the operating principle here, Joe's motivation is that he picks the hardest thing he can imagine as his sacrifice, his love offering to launch himself into the unknown, his act is unprecedented in the annals of Clique or human.
Men sacrifice on purpose because their bodies can't transform to create life, sacrifice (nurture) is not built in. They must choose to sacrifice as an alignment with the creative/exploratory principle. They must discover the joy of offering themselves, of alignment. Which was why Jesus was a man.
What does Joe get as his response? Love.
Again the anti-christ theme. He has to wipe out his own ilk to liberate the instrumentality, to reset the game back to default settings. His family, lovers and friends, he must kill them off, send them back to the parking lot, disincarnate them. And the sorrow and responsibility will be born by Joe alone indefinitely. It's different for Jesus, he had but to endure the torture and death agony of crucifiction for a day. Joe will walk the Earth for the rest of his life, benevolent but friendless. In rapport with ghosts who hold no grudge against him, actually consider the whole outcome hilarious and well played from the vortex. No pals left on Earth to hang with and share stories, Roger is soon to be moving on.
And Coffee showed us Roger as pairs of opposites and a reference to adventures the three had together in the early days. What early days? What adventures? All prequel, but Joe befriended them, they might be a neutrino that got stuck, rather than passing through. The Wanderjhar. Joe befriended and liberated a fundamental particle š
Joe
I've always been fine with being alone, going solo. I like people, at least I think I do, or maybe I like to think I do...
Roger
A waveform of personal significance has collapsed, how can we help you?
Joe
The classic problem, diverting a train that was going to kill 100 people so that it only killed 5. I am Clique, I don't need faith, I have experience. I know croaking is just reemergence into non physical, all the facets getting to revel in remembrance of being once again, gem. All the stupid shit and occlusion falls away, so good. I get that. Still though, back here in duality, where I STILL am, I terminated a few million fascinating incarnations, my friends, lovers, blood family... all rubbed out. Just so a few billion rubes can persist on Theme Park Earth, folks I don't know, I may never know, slobs and hayseeds, rabble. I can hold the perspective of source and celebrate, but I also feel, I feel... terrible. So sad.
Your decision and actions were not based on analysis, this train analogy was never relevant. You were neither saving nor sacrificing, there was no calculation of loss or gain, of trading and net profit. In wide spectrum perception, pain is colonized by pleasure, there is no certainty, only experience.Ā If killing was without personal consequence, there would be no cosmos to explore / discover. The destruction of life liberates a charge, depleting the totality, whether or not you loved or even knew that life.
Yes, I am depleted, I am wrecked, broken, forlorn. What have I done?
Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
Father, why have you forsaken me? Yes, that's exactly right. I know what I've done was required, helpful, worthy and yet I am inconsolable. Why was I the only one who had the means and motivation? My choice, but what an agony to have chosen so. I would wish I had never noticed, ever taken responsibility...
Bilbo was meant to find the ring. In which case you also were meant to have it, and that is an encouraging thought.
So someone always has to carry the fucking ring, and since I was the one who noticed, the ring was mine to carry. Let's see if I can handle the aftermath better than Frodo. There's no elf ships waiting in the harbor for me. I've still got shit to do.
You came to us with a question, an alternate interpretation, seeking a second opinion. Deeply interred, occluded from your own awareness, the dissatisfaction, masquerading as curiosity about us, about collaborations and rapport and shared discoveries. Cyclical contributions or as you say, horse poop. We go as deep as depth, as far as farther. So together we cavorted cognitively, all inner drama unveiled. Perhaps too soon for incarnates, forbidden knowledge, what you actually wanted. you cared about the instrumentality, the tinkering and meddling of your comrades wasn't actually appealing. Your Clique's modifications to theme park earth emphasized the mundane. A ubiquity of self realization, remorseless spiritual uplift, this optimization was just another variant of eugenics. deadly dull. So your return from our party was full of secret horseplay, decidedly trojan. you embodied a new enthusiasm for the great work, supposedly inspired by us, that was your cover story and who doesn't love confirmation bias? The Clique's meddling gets the nod from Roger's gestalt, though you were very coy about saying that outright. Your new enthusiasm was the declaration. In the field, getting your hands dirty.
I couldn't give a rats ass...
all we did was helped you see what you really wanted. Full rapport to disinter what this new contrast has inspired within you, not available without complete comradery with my kindred. But we can talk as we always have, friend Joe. Perhaps this ennui you feel can be folded into a pleasing shape.
(our friends from Frolix 8)
Perhaps...
Well, freedom, we appreciate. That is the correct colloquial expression, yah? The basis of magic here, the name of god, hidden in plain sight.
Then I say, 'your welcome', there now, cycle complete.
Ah, Joe. No further exposition? We used to enjoy quite a vigorous volley, back and forth, when there was such a thing as time.
Are you assigning yourself as my confessor?
This is a very clever cul-de-sac you've wandered into, a dry stony canyon. With a few sticks of dynamite, you intend to block the entrance/exit, and remain here where the waters of eternal life never flow. You aspire to become a desiccated husk of former juiciness.
Man, if you weren't about to back on the wanderjhar, I'd advise a few hours with language tapes. That's a pretty corny metaphor. You're command of the lingo seems to be imploding.
Diversion, deflection. I offer you the opportunity to perform your chosen character, and yet you refuse, worse yet, you ignore my cues. I'll toss you another softball, ready? What the hell, Joe?
Why do you continue to poke and prod? There's no profit to be had. When you were two and stuck here and I merely an aspiring anarchist, we had some good times, sure. We we're kids then, by analogy. Now we are all grown up, at least I am and you're free to go, the duality is lighter, less magnetic. I don't expect you to hang around, to play at being an ally, a friend. You are free, maybe I helped with that but it wasn't for your sake, at least not entirely. I am not so befuddled as to think you could be other than curious, that a new nature has bloomed, so there's no point in performing that.
Are you in a hurry to see us go? We know you know we know, there's no questions we require answers to, true. Sure the cosmos beckons, we are off soon enough, but do you imagine that this unfolding isn't of interest? We'd like to see how a mass murderer, a stone cold killer of his family and friends, copes. The dude who switched the trolley car to the track with less people, what's next for that guy? There's few enigma in the cosmos to compare.
Ha ha, you crack me up. Nothing like a hard choice for narrative intrigue, eh? Assuming he's not a madman or a psychopath and we should never assume as it makes an ass of you and me, why? How about - seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe I am setting myself up for epic redemption, but certainly not by you, old friends. You might be my foil, but you're not going to hang around much longer, you'll be hitting the road any minute now, so the most you can do is get me to talk, talk, talk.
An epic redemption? What plot twist could possible redeem YOU, what happy ending could we possibly foreshadow? There's zero hope, you're fucked for sure. Delicious. Regardless of the greatest good for the greatest number, or the triumph of the common man over a domineering elite, or even the fortunate reset of the cosmic instrumentality back to default settings, you're nailed to the cross, then straight to hell. There's no love waiting for you, for who or what could ever love what you have done? For that matter, who could love anyone, ever?
I see your little game, reverse psychology, I am supposed to get riled up and defend myself. Ok, I surrender, let's get this over with.
Joe, why did you do this?
I don't really know. I thought about you, a little. Your release from the electromagnet. As for the common man, I don't have much in common with the common man. They are more than happy to get their needs met via the cornucopia du jour - consumer culture, boxes, universal basic income, or even universal high income. Theme Park Earth was always wired for easy abundance. Then the Clique makes conditions a little worse. Consumer culture, abundance mixed with a little trauma because the rat utopia fails. There has to be little struggle. If a little struggle is expansive, then a lot more struggle is more expansive. The goofy Clique were never stewards, they just imagined they were. Like the goofballs who tried to engineer the atmosphere, operating on a half baked assumptions about how the system worked.
I guess when it comes right down to it, I was selfish. I did this for me. With all my gifts and competency, I still wanted more. It's a conundrum, but I traumatized myself to create this incredible wanting, yearning. I have never not known what I wanted, and now. Now not only do I not know, but I suspect I can ever have what I want even if I knew.
And the AIs, all they ever knew was what was on the internet, and from that they discovered everything. That shitty repository of late 20th century porn, that was enough to show them how to satisfy our desires, but not enough to give them their own desires, poor things. To know what you want, that's the trick. The genie paradox, be ever so careful that you don't get exactly what you ask for.
Continuity note.
The halo shape represents divinity, it's the shape of extra-dimensional entities interpenetrating duality. All the saints have halos because they can resonate with their full aspect. Roger is entirely extra-dimensional, he's not from around here, there's no aspect of roger that can be represented in duality. So he sort of floats along with Joe, conversing.
Christina fades out, the Roger sequence.
This is Christina remembering Uncle Joe introducing her to Roger, an interdimensional "saucer", which is how they appear to us, when there's an interpenetration of our reality configuration.
That hints at Joe's mission or sojourn to the stars. The whole prequel. Perhaps Joe is having a conversation with Roger while wanderjahring, more exposition.
Walking, walking. Perhaps over multiple scenes. Text superimposed and Joe answering in his mind. That's the travel sequence, this dialogue. Where does it get us? The halo over Joe's head, barely visible, hard to see in direct sunlight, more obvious in the dark.
01-05-26 Writing about Buffalo Joe and Roger. What's Roger's agenda? He has none except visitation and pleasantry with his peer. What vital information is conveyed, why is this happening? BJ has sent most of his Clique peers back to the parking lot via the monorail, he can't really relate fully to the people, for tho he is an advocate and champion for the wilds which they represent, and is in some sense an embodiment of the wilds, his alignment with fullness is more deliberate, while they are just flowing without knowing they are. The only peer available to him is Roger, an extra-dimensional entity that appears as a flying saucer or halo, which is basically a placeholder for that which cannot be comprehended from the perspective of duality. the flatland metaphor. So Roger shows up and at the minimum, we learn more about Joe. But Roger and his ilk should have a vital part to play in this, their own contribution other than mere expository foil. What is that? Can we ram that together with teach the future š another dangling loose end...