Process Log 04-01-16

April 1

Dan here. Everything i want to have be and do, I imagine everything coming true. My eye is looking away from center, that’s why it looks kind of dead, it’s perceived (even by me) as not present. of course, the image i’m receiving is damaged, which is all optic nerve. The optic nerve must have taken a real hit, because again there was no detachment in the retina. So if the retina is intact, then why has the eye shifted to map information onto a different part of the retina? or did it shift for that reason, perhaps to use undamaged optic nerve channels or to emphasize the undamaged ones. the broken or scrambled channels are associated wired to the center rods and cones. mostly hig rez receptors, b and w ones? forget – rods?

alright, so I want my optic nerve repaired and I want my eyesight back. Full clear and restored. The things I want to have. I lived now without this eye and a drifty creepy gaze. I want to express my full radiance, I want to live feeling excellent. gorgeous, ebullient, exhilerated. I don’t want to repair my eye so I can feel better, I want to rush like a soaring comet, shine like the sun and everything excellent will pop into my lap. perfect vision is a gift I want to feel like deserving, worthy of. Just because I decided to be. To forget that I am the universe, to forget that I am god. This world must be designed to help us forget, keep us forgetful, that’s called suspension of disbelief. We burn on slowly, everyday decide to remember what we are. remind ourselves how lucky and sweet the world is and notice experience this viscerally.