Process Log 02-06-16

I feel like as I begin to catch momentum, circuits are kicking in to thwart my break through. I can see progress and feel discouraged. There’s a choice, I could certainly go either way.

Well fuck that. I am not going to go either way. I am going to keep choosing the most joy I can. I just put on my socks cause my feet were cold, and it really is that simple. I am going to reach for relief every time. A better feeling every time. More of the good stuff from now on.

So there’s static and turbulence? So the residual patterns persist a bit. Fuck that. Who cares? That’s not what I choose now. I get the point of anger, there’s a role for everything and I want to understand the spectrum of emotions. I was feeling low and discouraged, now I’m a bit pissed that this continues to be my experience and now what frustration? I want to feel great and I know that’s who I am, so what’s the deal? Why this now? Why the perception of set backs, the feeling of less than delight? I am joy and shine, raucous and wonderful. (a slight smile is here) This is my choice, I exert my autonomy and decisive deliberate presence. I am a miracle, right here, right now.