Process Log 06-17-15

Now there is so much I don’t understand about her because I have these preconceptions about what she should and shouldn’t do, I am also way to dependent on her opinion of me. What Abraham is advising is to not assign the responsibility for my happiness to anyone else, never ever. That my happiness is always from me, about my moment and my thoughts, what I choose to focus on but also who I am – am I determined by the transient present or am I determined by what I am and have become / blooming.

This is a rubber meets the road writing. I either buy into what A is saying as a workable premise for living, I am trying to find a way through to this. A lot of what Abraham says connects deeply, but I don’t have the paradigm fully installed, I am still needing to grouse, piss and moan about a situation that is over OVER. What else can I learn? Yada fucking yada. One of the very attractive aspects of Abraham is just letting go of all that analysis and just living crazy large, focusing on happiness and uplift all the time and just staying there. Eventually people doing jangling things will just cease to show up, behaviors which don’t correspond to my daily experience will fade out. I can choose adventure WHERE I want it, not random discouragement peppered through every aspect of my experience.

Think about what I want to choose.