Process Log 04-29-15

My job is to be more me, more alive and into my own adventure. She may or may not want to come along, but I am caring less about whether she wants to come with or not. The arrogant bad boys are heartache on the hoof and we all have to see through that game. Luke for instance is full of fear, distrustful and freaked but playing it oh so cool. Bad boys driven by insecurity, masking their troubles with an aloof and worldly demeaner, but there’s no substance there. Take them down the first surging canyon and they panic, fall apart. I don’t remember being like that, I love a little danger. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t pull off the bad boy long term, because I actually am pretty capable when shit gets real. I don’t have to pretend I am jaded by life’s intensity. I seek it out, often enthusiastically. I have fear for sure, but I’ve realized that exploring the fear fully is how courage comes.