I want to create the ultimate training experience for revolutionaries.

what would this include? what the heck do i know about this?

if i were to train myself, what would i do?


life as game

imagine a world where the ultimate game is possible. real believable characters, physical struggle, mental anguish, *just like life*. now think about life, what makes life unfun? why can't i approach life like a game? if i die am i out of the game? do i get to play again? what if this is a game? the ultimate game.

bringing all the screenplays together.

what is the budget - how long could i sustain my research, what would i want to deliver along the way?

what is the development environment?

two thing happening at once here - the idea of the game on two levels - designing a tool for freedom training for freedom and self determination. what if the world was populated by evolved beings, wouldn't we rise to their level by association? of course that's a given. so in this story, we engage with higher level personalities who constantly challenge us. are we real? is anything real? if anything else is real then we are too. we are alive here in this moment with you, in this "game" but we are also alive beyond this game. in the universe next door, fictional characters are real, and vice versa. art is the crosstalk between universes. it's not so complicated. either by accident or choice artists are more open, able to handle more variability than the average joe or joanne. therefor, they stand between universes, they see and feel what others cannot, they are able to express what others cannot. that's why i am real here but not elsewhere, but i am alive always. in many universe's there are living breathing flesh and blood dan kellys, where in other universes there are fictional dan kelly's inspired by the exploits of the flesh and blood versions. perhaps too, the flesh and blood versions are moved by the stories of the fictional characters, they writhe and dance to the thoughts of their authors. somewhere, everyone authors my story [life_as_game_end]

at least for he next 6 months, i have an opportunity to research something, or to build something - the merits of which might launch me in the intended direction. so whatever that is - camera guy, storyteller, etc. what do people really need right now? tools for revolution surely. but if i dedicate myself to building revolutionary tools, might the revolution be over in a year or two? i don't want to build my life around sustaining conflict. so what do i want to build my life around? pragmatic consciousness, awareness and real world action. that's what i need. what would be a great tool for me right now? a universe that i could enter alone and make embarrassing mistakes so i could learn and then go back into the world as an effective warrior to do what? maybe take out langley or the pentagon, or free mumia. that sort of thing. how can i free others minds when my own is not free. in the prison cell, one inmate can start a tunnel and die before it's finished, but the next one in that cell will find the tunnel and finish it.

i am totally free. nothing blocks me except myself. i am my own prison, and no other prison could hold me. absolute freedom is my next adventure. you are free to go, but i've gotten used to this... then stay prisoner, forever.

a studio, a large studio. steiner studios what about them and a giant green screen for what exactly? it's about getting very clear about a creative idea and then executing it.

what if i shot daughter of god as a game? what would the daughter of god game be like? i need to shoot another short soon. something. i am afraid of this project now, a little. that's what keeps me from finishing carmen's form.

fun things

doing performances that don't suck
coding experiences
painting, learning about human anatomy
pushy hands, the confidence of knowing i can handle myself anywhere
pragmatic style - knowing i look good and am fully functional - not hampered by delicate cloths
having a fucking plan!
financially put together, not floundering

20k credit card debt
10k to invest
40k what...
14k quad and fiber channel
5k software
camera rental


for serving dancers lets say, but what else? what's the next step?

first, relax. get rid of the sour feeling in your gut. you are about to have 40k to deploy, you could just live off it and nap. you could take a trip. you could sequester yourself in studio for a year, on and on. or you could get your shit together and really fly.